Send in the Spins

• Gloria in the Palace orders the release of the Mayuga Report. (tongue twister: Was the message well-massaged?)
• Executive Secretary Ed Ermita, when asked to describe the report, said that it is "Fair, very fair." (Does fair means the same as Gloria in the Palace's "I won FAIR and square?")
• Malacanang pointed fingers at the congressmen for padding their pork barrel by P4.7 billion or equivalent to P20 million per congressman. (Trying to divert the issue on Gloria in the Palace's pork barrel share? How nice!)
• But Speaker Jose de Venecia counters: We are not padding the pork. We are just restoring it. (Restore? Nawala ba? Kelan?)
• The AFP said that they needed time to decide whether or not Gen. Lim and company will be court-martialed for the failed power-grab last February. (Why? Wala pa bang nama-manufacture.... err, nakukuhang ebidensiya? Ba't kasi di niyo muna pina-coup d' etat bago niyo hinuli para beyond resonable doubt. Baka wala naman talagang plano na mag coup masyado lang kayong praning! Pero teka, masyado kayong pre-emptive sa coup bakit simpleng cellphone snatching di niyo ma-prevent? Ha, Mr. Querol and Ms Gloria in the Palace?)
• Malacanang released its sequel to "Star Wars".... err, Sabwatan sa Kataksilan. And its new kasabwat, repentant Oakwood mutiny leader Capt. Gerardo Gambala is the new witness saying the Magdalo indeed has talks with communists to tear down the government. (Ba't niyo pa ginambala si Gambala? Gloria in the Palace is already a very concrete evidence that there was also a 'sabwatan' between her and the communists especially during the time of Erap. And during the 2001 elections, there are also posters showing her PPC-endorsed ticket with Bayan Muna and co-horts. Kulang pa ba iyon?)
• It's Holy Week. So Gloria in the Palace and her cabinet is climbing Baguio not for penitence but for a retreat. Why, medyo nababatan na ba ng simbahan at ng businessmen ang PIG?
• Well, Palace spokesman cum Justice secretary, Raul Gonzales, when asked what are his expectations on the retreat they are having at Baguio, has this to say: "We must reflect not only on ourselves but on the country, especially the destabilizers of government." (Para ba pagbalik niyo me plano na kayo paano sila i-overpower?)